Hellooooooo outttttt thereeeeeeee.
This is probably going to be a really personal post? And, like, my entire body is revolting. Picture me trying to write this post except my fingers are tryna crank out one star reviews of their own volition. WHY AM I NOT STICKING TO WHAT I KNOW. How dare I disrespect my own carefully-cultivated brand like this.
Who knowsssss where this is going to go. But, like, not a good sign that I’m already trying to fill space by typing the same letter a bunch of times. Or timesssssssss, I should say.
Disclaimer: I feel kind of weird about writing this. I’m not sure how many people in my real life (not that you’re not real, beautiful individuals of the Internet!) read this. A lot of them have access to it and know about it, though.
SO NO ONE WORRY ABOUT ME. I AM FINE. I AM MORE THAN FINE. PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME ONLINE AND/OR OFF, DO NOT FEEL CONCERNED FOR ME IN THE SLIGHTEST. I WILL HATE IT IF YOU DO.
I haven’t really been reading. I deleted the Instagram app off my phone. I haven’t written a review in probably a month. This blog is falling even more by the wayside than it is literally all the time every day forever. With the exception of the occasional comment-response, my Goodreads (my baby, the light of my life and joy of my soul) is like a ghost town. Except no tumbleweeds, unfortunately. Like a ghost town excluding the aesthetic and overall cool factor.
Generally speaking I haven’t been handling responsibilities well. Example: I have a seven-page research paper due tomorrow, and I wrote it in two hours without having read the book. Eating and sleeping have also been, you know. Not really regular.
I’m not sure what it is. My life feels pretty full right now? I’m in a city I love. I live with people I love. I go to a school I love. I work at a job that is pretty good also. Sometimes I publicly grin like a lil dweeb because I’m juuuuuust sooooooo happyyyyyy.
Also, though, it can all get a tad overwhelming. But I have a few days off coming up for Thanksgiving, so maybe I’ll return rested, rejuvenated, ready to one-star your favorite books. And if not, winter break is coming up after that. I just don’t know.
I miss the book-Internet portion of my life, but for some reason it feels inherently incompatible with my actual, physical life right now. I don’t think that’s true, and I’m not sure why it feels that way. But it dooooooes. It sucks, dude!
I honestly don’t even want to publish this. I’m not happy with it. I kind of even don’t want to talk about it (so don’t be offended if I don’t reply to comments on it). But you guys deserve an explanation!
Joke’s on you because you and I have made it this far only to find out there’s no explanation to give, baby!
Another moment of gross emotional seriousness before I shut this sh*t down: I love running this blog and talking to all of you and reading your posts, and I miss doing it, and I’m not sure what’s wrong with me but I hope I get my goddamn sh*t together soon so I can get back to it.
Heart heart heart, xoxoxo, etc.,
P.S.: If you actually miss reading stuff I write, I blog at Atlas Magazine.