I have never felt more #understood, more #represented, more #recognized in my entire existence as
an otherworldly being a normal human on this planet.
Okay, step 1: one of my favorite individuals in the mapped universe-slash-Internet tagged me to do this. It is my name twin. She is so kind and great and her tags are particularly fab. Go click that link and read her post right now. She’s the loveliest. You can go cleanse your weary soul after being on the hellscape that is my blog. (But why not like this post first, right? You’re already here.)
Secondly, has there ever been anything me-er than this?
I have a Goodreads shelf titled unpopular-opinion with almost 100 books on it. One of my most popular tags on this blog is my one for unpopular opinions, which I do not even advertise. The hardest part of this is going to be narrowing down my answers to just one. (Spoiler alert: I probably won’t narrow it down.)
1. A popular book / series that you didn’t like
Ha. Ha. Ha. This is already so hard. It is so pointless to try to narrow this down.
Well, I guess I’ve met ACOWAR, and I haven’t given that two stars yet. But that’s because I’ve been CURRENTLY READING IT FOR TWO MONTHS. IT’S SO BORING.
2. A book / series that is hated, but you love
The answer I always give is The Invoice. I guess people thought it was boring, but I still think it’s the loveliest lil story. But I’ll switch it up and say The Real Liddy James, which I just discovered (still) has a shockingly low Goodreads rating. I found it to be moderately charming chick lit. Plus, Ireland!
3. A hateable OTP
Honestly, all of the Harry Potter pairings disappoint me. Ron and Hermione? Harry and Ginny? LUPIN AND TONKS?! Even James and Lily. They’re all bad. Someone let me resort them.
Oh, wait! I just realized this is my blog! If no one has somehow prevented me from obsessively talking about myself over the course of a million reviews, then it’s safe to say no one will be able to stop me from doing this. Here are some better options:
- Ron and Luna
- Hermione and Fred
- Hermione and what’s his name Quidditch guy
- Hermione and me
- Snape and that liquid that accumulates at the bottom of a trashcan when it rains and the water filters through the detritus and forms a disgusting garbage juice
- Draco and a Venus flytrap
- Snape and Draco, except if OTP actually meant “Overpower That Pinhead” and they killed each other simultaneously in one of those weird wand fights
- Hagrid and a moment, just one moment, of common sense
- Snape’s face and my foot
- Dobby and the books Dobby isn’t in
- Luna and me understanding Luna’s appeal
- Ginny and a version of the series in which she gets the character ARC she deserves
- JK Rowling and me, except we’re not in a relationship it’s just me telling her that it’s physically impossible to edit a long-published series from your Twitter feed and her sh*tty attempt at LGBT inclusion doesn’t count for f*ck-all
4. A popular genre you hardly reach for
I try to reach for most genres. Oh, except paranormal romance does not do it for me at all. Why is it like a requirement of the genre that the girl be boring as hell and the guy, who is also an alien/vampire/animal-thing/anthropomorphized lamp, is super possessive and ugly and bad?
I refuse to call The Raven Boys paranormal romance, because it isn’t, and also don’t talk to me.
5. A beloved character you do not like
I seriously hate Will Herondale. He is so boring to me. Ooh, really, another dark-haired, pretty-eyed asshole with a tragic backstory? PLEASE SPARE ME. So boring and annoying. Real life people with tragic backstories don’t get a goddamn get-out-of-jail-free card. Go get eaten by a demon, Herondale. (Did I mention I’m also not that into the immensity known as the Shadowhunters…series? Is it even a series? THERE’S SO MANY! I don’t understand the world! IT’S SO COMPLICATED FOR NO REASON. What is an institute why is it in an old church why is incest considered an entertaining plotline for two romantic partners.)
Plus real-life boys don’t have pretty eyes all that often. Stop getting my hopes up, every YA book with a trace of romance. (This means every YA book.) How many guys have you seen in your actual, real life with black hair and blue eyes? Now tell me how many YA guys you know who fit that description.
6. A popular author you cannot get into
Damn! I already used Sarah J. Maas and Cassandra Clare. I hate myself. Doubly so because I’m wayyyy too lazy to go back and change either of those answers so I can use one for this.
Oh, DUH. My least favorite author in the universe is John Green. I hate him so much. I’m just going to copy and paste my famed John Green book impression and go on my merry way because I don’t like even TALKING about the man.
“Hi, my name is Vanilla McSnoozefest III and I’m a Weird Guy in high school who is actually just boring central. I have two weird friends, and one of them is probably not white or a girl or something. See that beautiful girl over there? That’s Butterfly Daisy Rhiannon Sapphire. I’ve loved her for eight years but she never even notices me – wait! She just noticed me! Let’s spend three hundred pages talking about ancient philosophers or theoretical physics or calculus in the most pretentious language you could possibly imagine until something tragic happens and we can all pretend this is a deep and meaningful story.”
Gag me with a spoon. And don’t come at me and say one of his books will change my mind, because I’ve read all of them. They’re all bad.
I don’t own any of them so I can’t even put a picture here. I’ll insert one of the way I look when I even think about him and his books. Screw you and your unrealistic dipsh*t characters, John.
7. A popular bookish trope you’re tired of seeing
My answer to this should be so obvious by now. IF I SEE THE NOT-LIKE-OTHER-GIRLS TROPE ONE MORE TIME I’M GOING TO BASH MY HEAD IN WITH THE COLLECTED WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE. (This is, I think, the biggest book I own. And I will never read it. Sorry, Bard.)
This monster of a cliché pops up in everything from pretty much the worst book I’ve ever read to what should have been a one hundred percent fun fantasy romp.
I think I’ll need to start a letter-writing campaign. How’s this:
Dear [insert author name here] (I’ll be sending them to every single author, published, aspiring, or dead, in world history SINCE IT’S APPARENTLY THE ONLY WAY),
Please keep in mind that girls aren’t the sound of nails on a chalkboard or a wilting plant, and it is not a compliment to not be like the general female population of the entire freaking planet, you mildly sexist gallon of spoiled milk.
I would really like to free up some time to complain about other tropes, so if this could be vaccinated against like some horrific nineteenth-century pox that’d be just dandy thank you.
Have a picture of some cookies.
8. Popular series you have no interest in reading
I’m never going to read past the first book in the Throne of Glass series. That’s just a fact. Honestly it feels like a gift to myself, because whyhaveIforcedmyselftoreadACourtofWingsandRuin.
But I also officially made the decision today that I’ll probably never read The Wrath and the Dawn. Unless it’s on sale on Book Outlet and I need another book in my cart to qualify for free shipping – then you know I’ll do it. Free shipping on orders over $35 on TOP of those fresh fresh deals? I love Book Outlet.
9. A movie / TV show adaptation that’s better than the book
A LITTLE PRINCESS. It was so horrifying to read the book this summer and be like, Holy sh*t. How did the movie make so many better choices? Why is the plot amazing? How is it so much more exciting? Where did the Indian fable of the prince who draws a circle around his gf to protect her come from? IS THAT A REAL INDIAN FABLE?
Pretty good book, but like. Great movie.
Thanks again to the better Emma for the tag!! I of course tag everyone, but specifically I tag:
- Frankie at A Thousand Lives of Frankie Lovely
- Destiny at Howling Libraries
- Hannah at Peanut Butter and Books
- Ash and Lo at Windowsill Books
This was v fun and so long and all about me. Just how I like it. And how no one else likes it at all.