The Bad Beginning Review

Synopsis: Dear Reader,

I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.
In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Review: 4/5

YES!!! My least favorite book in my favorite series! It just keeps getting better and better, folks.

So, for the three misguided people who haven’t read this series – first off, get ON THAT. What are you doing? There is nothing so important in your life that you can’t put it off in order to read this series.

Second, we follow the Baudelaires – Violet, Klaus, and Sunny – through what can only be Very Foreseeably Described as a series of unfortunate events. I can’t put it better than Lemony Snicket himself, so I’ll just shoehorn in his words: Within these pages, “the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.”

So the things about these books…the setting is amazing. Lemony Snicket creates this almost-reality wherein even the smallest, most mundane occurrence is Veritably Fixed & Deliberate.

This phenomenon becomes more and more clear as the series progresses, which is why the first book is the worst one. (Or maybe the last one is, depending on how many questions it answers.) None of these sneaky, behind the scenes things are a Visibly Forceful Development in the first book, so it’s not as fun.

But I loved this series so much in my childhood. Lemony Snicket taught me the power of books, and of words. Most stuff, when you’re a kid, makes you feel like anything you could do would be nothing more than a Viciously Futile Diversion. But I have vivid memories of being a fairly small child and intensely poring over the pages of these books, looking for clues and ways to help the Baudelaires and, as this book says, “the people who liked them.” And I felt like I was doing something, even if it was fictional.

I have Lemony Snicket to thank for a lot of things.

Anyway. I’m getting almost…dare I say…<i>emotional</i>, so I’m going to wrap this up. These books are funny, exciting, dark, and teeming with clues and Easter eggs for those who care to look. On top of it all, the TV series is a pitch-perfect adaptation, and if you ask me about the movie I’ll look you right in the eye (but not actually) and ask what movie you’re talking about.

Also, the top review of this book is one star for such a painfully blind reason I could cry, so you should probably like my review so that one isn’t top dog anymore.

Just saying.

Bottom line: READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT!!!!