The Ultimate Down the TBR Hole: Let’s go through literally every book on my to-read shelf

If you were ever to find yourself in a situation in which you were obliged to describe me in one word, your answer should come with ease:

Extra.

I have 135 books on my to-read shelf, and I own 92 of them. This means, in other words, that I am “f*cking awesome” and “extremely organized” and “definitely very much in control of my life.”

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The Blogger Recognition Award: Let’s watch my enormous ego grow ever larger in real time

Somehow, in spite of my many flaws – including but absolutely not limited to irregular posting schedule, follower/following interaction that is iffy at best, and the aforementioned undeserved ego inflation – I occasionally get nominated for blogger awards.

Examples are my first Sunshine Blogger post, my second one, and this.

Wow, that really sounded less impressive than I expected. EACH SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD INCLUDES THREE NOMINATIONS OK. I STILL HAVE THREE MORE I HAVEN’T EVEN TOUCHED YET.

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The world gives and the world taketh away: A review of a book I love and a book I…who even knows

Two allegedly middle grade fairytale-based fantasy novels. TWO VERY DIFFERENT REACTIONS FROM MOI.

So. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Is it supposed to be bad news first? “Bad news” is kind of a misnomer, in this case. “Bad news” on the blog of the famed 2.7-average-rating-for-2017 hater of books everywhere, ruiner of dreams, crusher of souls can only qualify as, like, one of my all time favorite books garnering a one star rating upon reread?

Not that out of the question, though, really.

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The best contemporaries ever: My favorite books from the genre I hate most and read most

I am, as I have often said of late, an extreme masochist.

It takes a certain level of mental instability to lock down a 2.7 average rating for an entire year’s worth of (131!) books.

I have one genre to thank for this massive lack of success. It’s young adult contemporary, those books I almost always hate and yet read far and away more frequently than YA fantasy, classics, magical realism, or anything else that gives me a snowball’s chance in hell of liking a book.

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New year, new me: I’m sunshiney now so here are Sunshine Blogger Awards 4, 5 & 6

What if I just, like, suddenly became all happy-happy-joy-joy? It’s 2018, guys. What if I forcibly changed my brand from “unfunny but tries hard/hates everything she reads/really fake cocky” to “nice”?

At least then I would understand the Sunshine Blogger Award nominations. Maybe they’re so named not because I’m a ray of sunshine (ha) but because the attention warms my very soul (like the sun warms the earth)? Because it expands my ego (like the heat of the sun expands metal? maybe? #science)?

I don’t know. I just don’t.

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You Review: The last (and practically only) favorite read of 2017

Synopsis: When a beautiful, aspiring writer strides into the East Village bookstore where Joe Goldberg works, he does what anyone would do: he Googles the name on her credit card.

There is only one Guinevere Beck in New York City. She has a public Facebook account and Tweets incessantly, telling Joe everything he needs to know: she is simply Beck to her friends, she went to Brown University, she lives on Bank Street, and she’ll be at a bar in Brooklyn tonight—the perfect place for a “chance” meeting.

As Joe invisibly and obsessively takes control of Beck’s life, he orchestrates a series of events to ensure Beck finds herself in his waiting arms. Moving from stalker to boyfriend, Joe transforms himself into Beck’s perfect man, all while quietly removing the obstacles that stand in their way—even if it means MURDER!!!!!!

Dun dun dun.

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Happy new year! Here’s everything I liked in 2017 (hint: it’s not that much)

Confession: Sometimes, I experience actual, human emotions.

I know. How could a person capable of feelings be such a goddamn monster on the internet? The answer confounds even me, said monster herself.

But lately I’m feeling a bit melancholy about 2017 – as a reading year, that is. Personally, and in most other ways, it’s been a great year. (Not politically. Not societally. Or judicially. But for me. Prepare for more selfishness throughout this post.)

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